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help please

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chiaro0990
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help please

Postby chiaro0990 » Fri Mar 01, 2013 4:17 am

Okay, so, I wanted to get back on the track, writing poetry, making metaphor and imagery. However, whenever I started to write, I couldn't make one fresh metaphor. Can you give me few examples of metaphor without using is/are? Thank you. :)

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riverwriter
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Re: help please

Postby riverwriter » Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:05 am

There is a discussion of imagery in general and metaphor in particular in item 5. of our poetry reference section, here: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=945

You seem to be working from the simple definition of metaphor as a comparison of two things without using "like" or "as". While that is one way of identifying a metaphor, it is not really a way of approaching the other side of the process, which is constructing one. To construct a metaphor, you would normally decide what you are describing and then explore your experience for something else that has the characteristic that you want to express. Suppose you are trying to express how delighted you are. You would think of something that makes you feel happy. It could be a smiling child or a pet or a flower in sunlight. Hence, "I was a kid on the last day of school" or "my face blossomed into a smile" or "I was a belly-rubbed puppy".

Remember, you are not trying to find a metaphor, for that is a form; you are finding an enlargement of what you want to say so that the common experience of the reader can help experience it, too.

I hope that helps.

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Agnes
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Re: help please

Postby Agnes » Fri Mar 01, 2013 9:53 am

chiaro0990 wrote:Okay, so, I wanted to get back on the track, writing poetry, making metaphor and imagery. However, whenever I started to write, I couldn't make one fresh metaphor. Can you give me few examples of metaphor without using is/are? Thank you. :)



With its tail twitching, some poetry waits in dark corners to pounce on you when you sleep. Its sharp claws will hold you down while its fangs sink deep. Unwary souls don't stand a chance.

---

Bleating their woes, people stand out in the rain, waiting for a slick politician to lead them to shelter by hook or by crook.

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Water not only knows your name. It knows every inch of you. It makes you what you are. Or so it thinks. Air gets the first and last word.

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I painted myself blue and jumped into a black hole. I don't think they allow Springtime here.

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I suck. You suck. We all suck. Everything sucks. One would think with all this sucking going on, we'd all be a lot closer.

---

A wall of a thousand doors stands between you and God. Pick one.

---

http://www.englishclub.com/vocabulary/f ... taphor.htm

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riverwriter
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Re: help please

Postby riverwriter » Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:15 am

Wonderful, Agnes!

chiaro0990
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Re: help please

Postby chiaro0990 » Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:19 am

Thank you, riverwriter for the guidelines.
I was getting tired of using metaphor in simple form (is, are), like I was a bird, my lips are coated in cinnamon, etc etc. I usually use metaphor in that form however, using passive verb tends to weaken the poem itself. That's why I'm trying to use metaphor in active verbs.

Is it alright to check if I was doing it right? I appreciate the help, really. :)

George tied his tears by rain drops after he saw his father died in the accident.


The bird never flies, as we see. They walk with the wind, among on the clouds.

chiaro0990
haiku hacker
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Joined: Fri Feb 22, 2013 1:48 pm

Re: help please

Postby chiaro0990 » Fri Mar 01, 2013 10:21 am

That's cool, Agnes. You're great with words. :D


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